Conflict Management Secrets
We all get into conflicts at one time or another and if we’ve got either stressful work, stressful social environments or stressful situations to deal with on a regular basis, it’s good to know how to exercise good conflict management. At first, we may think this is only possible by having a certain amount of control over others, but it’s really got more to do with managing stress in ourselves and using positive words as well as a positive outlook on life, as both tension prevention and conflict management measures.
Conflicts arise when there are opposing elements, situations and/or concerns between people. A good thing to remember is that one of the reasons conflicts occur has a lot to do with the dread of long term, undesirable circumstances. Misunderstandings and/or inadequate communication also lead to conflict.
Conflict management can be aided by training yourself to handle eruptions of tension in the following ways:
—When we hear someone getting upset, stay calm and assume that there is a misunderstanding.
—Listen carefully to what the person or people are saying, this can go a long way to ease conflicts, especially because many times, instead of listening, we find ourselves already preparing what it is we want them to know.
—If we’re upset at a situation, yourself or at an individual(s) you need to immediately remind yourself that you just need to take one step at a time to deal with the “problem” and if possible, also remind yourself that the “problem” most likely will not last forever.
—Try to help the disturbed person or people understand the situation on their level, not yours.
—Try to consider ways of ‘buying’ time or making practical compromises to appeal to the needs and requests of the upset individual(s)
Further, conflict management has to do with the prevention of rising tension, good tension preventative measures include:
—Trying at all times to keep your voice low or at least lower than the person or people that are upset.
—If you are the one who is upset, then you must try to keep from raising your voice.
—Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of the conflict you should never resort to name calling, or bad language. This creates added negative emotions and you should look for positive words instead. There’s a reason the statement “kill them with kindness” has been taught for ages.
—-You don’t need to exaggerate the faults and/or use offensive sarcasm.
Getting along with co-workers is possible with good conflict management skills.
You should always try to use a positive outlook to develop better ways to handle conflicts. How would we like the situation to look? Creative visualization will help you. At times, you can share this creative visualization with those in a conflict because many times, just the suggestion of good will can lead to less tension and facilitate greater communication and understanding for you and others. Using positive words, without seeming too patronizing, can also aid you in the sharing of your ideas
Before and whenever you see a conflict arising, it’s also good if you use creative visualization to think of ways to exercise regular steps in managing stress. To do this, you need to ask the following questions:
—What is the typical cause of my stress?
—Which things act as causes of overall stress surrounding my situations as well as the stresses directly causing the conflicts?
—Are there ways to decrease or eliminate these stressful factors?
—If not is there a way the stressed individual(s) can be compensated either before, during and /or after the stress and conflict has arisen?
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